iChat Tangents

I work with some delightful and entertaining people, and although some of us can hear the clatter of each other's keyboards, we still use instant messaging (via Apple's iChat) to brainstorm, discuss issues, or simply distract each other from work.

Like our meetings, our productive iChat discussions are frequently interrupted by tangents—or, rather, our iChat tangents are occassionally interrupted by productive discussions. The other day we had a particularly entertaining chat, portions of which I will share here, edited only slightly.

The chat included four individuals, whose real names I will not share. I will, instead, identify each by his or her iChat icon, which appear by every comment an individual makes in a chat:

1. Abominable snowman (the abominable snowman, from that claymation Christmas movie of years gone by)

2. Rubin (actor Crispin Glover in Rubin and Ed)



4. Fedora (a cool brown hat that has likely appeared in many, many movies and on the heads of various famous people)

3. Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes fame)


Background: The ostensible purpose of this chat was to brainstorm a title for a magazine article. Rubin, Calvin, and Fedora were each in their respective offices. After a bit of productive brainstorming by these three, Snowman joined the chat from a conference Snowman was attending in Seattle. As he/she chatted, Snowman was sitting in a session listening to a speaker, with other conference participants around him, presumably similarly attentive.

[Snowman joins the chat]

Fedora: wow, long distance chat now

Snowman: oh man they are talking about AJAX

Calvin: like the cleanser?

Snowman: like asynchronous Java and XML and microapplications

Fedora: ooh

Calvin: aah

Fedora: I'm so sad I'm not there

Snowman: there was a great one on blogging and commercial conversion

Snowman: but I digress

Calvin: "commercial conversion" is a nice title

Fedora: commercial conversion

Calvin: jinx

Fedora: baptizing a whole company?

Snowman: that's what I thought, but I was so wrong

Snowman: it's getting people to actually check out and buy the stuff in their inbox

. . .

Snowman: What is the most promising proposition [for a title] thus far?

Fedora: I liked the ones about gold and the ivory tower

Fedora: making gold in the ivory tower

Fedora: the ivory tower turns gold

Fedora: There's gold in that thar tower

Snowman: Spinning Theory into Gold

Fedora: spinning ivory into gold

Snowman: so I had 4 different kinds of chowder for lunch

Snowman: not sure how that is relevant

Calvin: wow, I bet you're full

Snowman: but smoked salmon chowder is surprisingly wonderful

Snowman: maybe it was because I burped

Snowman: (oops)

. . .

Fedora: did you see that NY Times article about the Napoleon Dynamite festival?

Snowman: i dated a girl from Preston

Snowman: I couldn't get the NYT to log me in so I missed it

Snowman: i was not converted

Rubin: do you think they felt insulted that none of the main actors came?

Rubin: by the way, i saw nacho libre—good

Rubin: in spite of my misgivings

Fedora: my favorite line from the NYT article:

Fedora: this napoleon impersonator is at a texas/oklahoma basketball game, performing

Fedora: attractive woman wearing a tiara asked for a signed photograph. "I thought, 'What kind of idiot wears a tiara to a basketball game?' " he recalled.

Snowman: oh gee they are actually showing code on the screen and talking about specific response tables

Snowman: glargh

Fedora: So, channeling Napoleon, Mr. Demke posed the question. "She laughed," he said, then introduced herself as Jennifer Berry, the new Miss America.

Fedora: "I felt so stupid. She thought I was playing in character. I was grateful she was a fan of the movie."

Snowman: that is funny

Fedora: you're not laughing in your conference are you?

Snowman: oh no I wouldn't dare

Fedora: hey, everyone, let's try to make [Snowman] laugh out loud

Calvin: he's making the sound glargh

Snowman: I might spew complimentary brownies


. . .


Calvin: [Attempting to redirect to productive conversation] Ideas for sale at BYU

Fedora: laboratory to real world

Calvin: goodies from the lab table

Rubin: entreprofessors

Fedora: shopping at the lab table

Snowman: From Blab to Lab to Fab

Calvin: lab table buffet

Calvin: entreprofessors is fun

Rubin: i'm liking [Snowman's}

Fedora: take a seat at the lab table and place your order

Calvin: I'd like two IsoTrusses, some sparkling yogurt, and an order of ceragenins

Rubin: also, one side of turkey

Calvin: hold the cholera, please

Fedora: I'm Professor Smith and I'll be your server. Our special of the day is Turkey Vaccine with a side of synthetic diamonds and water modeling to drink

Fedora: holy cow... I just realized my zipper was down...

Fedora: how long has that been?

Fedora: sheesh

Calvin: you didn't really have to tell us all that

Rubin: are you just trying to get [Snowman] to laugh?

Rubin: it worked on me

Calvin: or are you just trying to make [Snowman] laugh outloud

Fedora: hoping for a good guffaw

Rubin: and was that still part of professor smith's monologue

Fedora: no, that was me reclining while I type and suddenly looking down

Calvin: Serving up studies

Fedora: Peddling Ideas

Fedora: The Marketplace of Ideas

Fedora: The Idea Market

Snowman: Ohhh nooooo

Fedora: From the Lab Table to the Kitchen Table

Rubin: something to put stock in

Snowman: I've just been kicked out of the session

Fedora: :)

Snowman: like that guy with the cell phone on

Snowman: Don't Look Down... Never Look Down

. . .

Rubin: i interviewed someone named T today

Rubin: when I asked him "Are you T?" I couldn't help but chuckle softly

Calvin: did he have a goatee?

Calvin: lots of chains?

Calvin: mohawk

Calvin: did he call you sucka?

Rubin: no

Snowman: It's Time for T

Rubin: but i pitied the fool

Calvin: oh, must be another T