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FAITH FAMILY ADVENTURE SHORT ANSWERS

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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

And Be Ye Thankful

A couple of decades ago, I sat one evening in a large assembly hall listening to a speaker I found somewhat annoying. He was the second or third speaker of the night, and the next speaker on the agenda was the headliner of the event. The previous speakers had been brief, engaging, and inspiring; more than 20 years later I still remember one of those speakers and what he said. But this speaker, coming just before the last one, was droning on and on and on about a subject that didn't really fit the theme of the evening and that I found less than exciting. "Doesn't he know we aren't here to hear him?" I thought. "Doesn't he know we don't care about this topic?"

I squirmed in my hard chair, looked frequently at the clock, and tried to endure the talk that got longer and longer. Feeling increasingly irritated, I looked at the stand and saw the man who would be the main speaker of the evening—the man whose time was being used up by this other speaker. As it turns out, that man was Thomas S. Monson, now the president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I looked at President Monson, smiling and sitting calmly behind the speaker who was continuing his unwelcome diatribe, and I wondered, "How does someone like President Monson—a spiritual leader who needs to exemplify Christian living—listen to a talk like this—so obviously off target and so obviously too long—and retain a charitable attitude? How does he not get irritated and frustrated?" And, perhaps more important, I wondered, How can I learn to be more patient and Christlike in similar situations?

President Thomas S. Monson [PHOTO BY BRIAN TIBBETS]
A few minutes later, and much to my relief, the speaker finally concluded and President Monson rose to give his long-awaited address. As if in answer to my unspoken question, he began his remarks by expressing the deep gratitude he had felt for the previous speaker as he listened to his speech.

I remember sitting there in that vast room and feeling somewhat stunned. First, while I had been building up a year's supply of impatience and complaint and criticism for the previous speaker, President Monson had been reflecting, with gratitude, on the speaker's strengths and contributions; my irritation had made me blind to the good in this speaker. And second, I had thought a question and almost immediately got an answer. The answer, of course, was this: If you are tempted to impatience or irritation or annoyance with an individual, think instead of the gratitude you feel for the person and his or her qualities.

Recently I decided to focus on developing greater patience, and I selected a passage of scripture about patience to memorize as part of my effort. The scripture, found in Paul's letter to the Colossians, presents the need for forbearance and forgiveness and charity and urges us to "let the peace of God rule in [our] hearts"—great advice for one striving to be patient. Then the passage concludes with three words that I don't often think of as being associated with patience: "Be ye thankful" (Col. 3:15).

Maybe Paul didn't intend to link gratitude and patience. But maybe he did. Perhaps Paul knew what President Monson knew and what I should know but so often forget: Gratitude trumps impatience. As the perfect antidote for negativity, gratitude can turn irritation, criticism, anger, resentment, and frustration into forgiveness, patience, meekness, and love.